THEM BONES, THEM BONES

Gabrielle is fishing around with a sai for a certain type of mushroom that is supposed to help cure Xena's morning nausea.  Suddenly, Xena begins screaming in tremendous pain and Gabrielle rushes her to a healer.  We see Xena's nightmare in which a baby-sized skeleton pierces its way through her belly.  She wakes up obviously alarmed but Gabrielle and the healer are already by her side.  "When your friend brought you in, you were in considerable pain; I gave you a sedative," explains the healer.  She also prescribes bed rest as she can't find anything physically wrong with Xena or her child.  Amarice then runs into the room, having just gotten word.  Against the healer's advice, Xena abruptly sits up and starts gathering her belongings, mentioning something about a shamaness named Yakut (leader of the northern Amazons).  "That was no dream I had," explains Xena, "It was a premonition.  Something's trying to kill my baby."  So, Xena, Gabrielle, and Amarice take the long journey northward.  Once in the Amazon camp, Yakut greets Xena and claims to have seen a vision and, thus, was expecting her arrival.  "Come, we have much work to do," she tells the warrior princess.  With Xena lying down and Yakut's hand on Xena's belly, Yakut draws something on the dirt floor –– clearly making an unseen observation.  "Your child is being drained of its life-force in the spiritual realm," Yakut concludes.  After being told that the stalking entity bears the mark of the shamaness, Xena realizes that the villain here is, yet again, Alti!  (Alti can only attack through the spiritual realm at this point, however, since Xena killed her....)  Soon enough, Gabrielle convinces a weak Xena to let her go in Xena's place to fight Alti.  "I love your baby like it were my own," argues Gabrielle, "I will do anything I can to fight for its life and I deserve that chance as much as you do!"  With bow and arrow, animal and blood, dance and chant, Gabrielle performs the ritual of crossing over.  Xena hands Gabrielle a dagger and warns her not to let go of it on any account as it is their only chance of killing Alti in the spiritual realm.  "If we can destroy her there, we destroy her soul."  (Through all of this, Amarice stands around, skeptical and out-of-place.)  Finally, Gabrielle passes to the other side.  Dagger in hand, she explores strange and physically-impossible sights (motion frozen in time and space) when she spots Alti standing nearby.  "Xena's little bitch!  Welcome to the doghouse."  We learn that Alti wants the baby to be born!?  Meanwhile, back in the physical realm, Xena sits by Gabby's body and pleads for her to use the dagger.  She doesn't realize that Alti has managed to get the dagger up to Gabrielle's neck until she notices a cut forming on Gabrielle's skin.  "Alright, Gabrielle, that's enough.  Come back now!"  But as Alti counts down from ten, Gabrielle's body shuts down and, to Xena, she is as though dead until Xena breathes life back into her.  Later, Gabrielle is able to recall and relay to Xena, Yakut, and Amarice that Alti doesn't want to hurt the baby but wants it to be born.  "Alti wants to steal my baby's soul; she wants to replace it with her own," concludes Xena.  She then sends Gabrielle and Amarice to the temple of Chi'ah to get some amber that should trap Alti's soul if poured on her remains.  Xena and Yakut head for Alti's grave to retrieve her bones.  (Just before they leave, Yakut warns Gabby and Amarice that the temple is guarded by an Amazon mystic who can see the truth in your heart; it cannot be hidden from her.  At this, Amarice looks a little shifty).  At the gravesite, Xena finds that Alti's skull is missing...and that Yakut (who, come to think of it, has been acting a little shifty from time to time herself) is in posession of it.  She confesses that she'd tried to harness Alti's power for good, but unleashed her soul instead.  Xena, however, is too angry to acknowledge her shame.  At night, then, in what appears to be an attempt to make it up to Xena by trying to defeat Alti herself, Xena wakes up to a Yakut who has already performed the ritual of crossing over!  Seeing her struggle, Xena crosses over, too.  In short, on the other side, Alti steals the baby's soul and offers to give it back if Xena and the Amazons return her to the physical world.  "I'm sorry," Yakut says lamely.  "Let's get back to camp," is Xena's mere response.  Elsewhere, Amarice and Gabrielle find themselves facing Chi'ah herself, who reveals that Amarice hides behind a title she has not earned...the title of Amazon.  Ashamed, she leaves and Chi'ah allows Gabrielle to pass.  Once she's retrieved the amber, she tries to console Amarice.  "Well, you'd better get going, she's waiting for you," says a still disheartened Amarice.  "She's waiting for us," Gabrielle says truly –– which seems to cheer her up a bit.  With all four of them back at camp, the gang must devise a new plan.  (They can't use the amber yet; it would risk trapping the baby's soul as well.)  "She wants us to bring her back?  Why don't we do that," says Xena.  But they trick Alti into thinking Xena has agreed to take her back to the physical world...when, in truth, she has taken her into another dream world.  One where Alti has let her guard down.  They, as skeletons in that world, fight.  (And Xena is backed up by the mind-power of the entire tribe.)  Gabrielle, Yakut, and Amarice surround Xena awaiting a signal.  (Alti's remains lie nearby.)  They feel life return to Xena's belly and take that as the sign to pour the amber on Alti's bones.  With a whirlwind and an agonizing scream, Alti's remains ascend, destroyed.  Gabby runs to Xena's side and soon finds her alive and with child.  Later, before they depart, Gabby tells Amarice that she doesn't think what Chi'ah said is true...anymore.  A grateful Amarice decides to stay with the northern Amazons to "learn a few things."  Lastly, as Xena and Yakut say their goodbyes, Xena spots a dove on a tree branch, which we learned signifies Xena's acceptance of motherhood.  (She'd feared that bringing a child into a world of suffering wasn't the right thing to do.)  But it also signifies the child's response: Thank you.         

ANIMAL ATTRACTION

Donning warmer clothes in this lighthearted western, Joxer and Amarice walk along a snowy wooded path just ahead of Gabrielle and Xena (who is riding Argo).  We learn of Amarice's disdain for men after she catches Joxer sneaking another look towards Gabrielle.  Gabby notices and confides in Xena... who is asleep!  "I think I dozed off."  "You've been doing that a lot lately."  They figure she's just tired.  Startled by a sudden noise of a neighing horse in the distance, the crew takes off towards the sound.  They find a horse whose leg has been caught and wounded in a trap.  Gabrielle calmly talks to the horse while Xena frees its leg.  They all know they'll have to treat its wound before they set it free.  "Set it free?" asks Gabrielle, who seems to have other plans for the horse brewing in her mind....  Finally, the gang arrives in a town called Spamona which is famous for its hot springs.  After leading the new horse into a stall, Xena is warned that Spamona has a law against carrying weapons.  But who has the guts to take her weapons?  Enter a woman (wearing a cowgirl hat and spurs) who draws her sword.  They fight...but it turns out to be only in jest.  Talia is her name and she used to ride with Xena.  The two old friends catch up over a meal (Xena's appetite is off-the-wall strange).  A man who seems to be sheriff walks in and hands over a dagger (signifying the return of a villain named Darcon) and his resignation.  Talia doesn't want Xena fighting her fight.  Elsewhere, in the bathhouse, Amarice accidently almost drowns a man but saves his life shortly thereafter.  It turns out, this man is Arman!  Joxer enters the scene and they share a few words and shake hands.  But, as Amarice begins to leave, she slips and falls on the wet floor!  They two guys laugh and defend their laughter by saying that she wasn't hurt....  Of course, Amarice gets pissed off and she and Arman spend the next little while bad-mouthing each other in front of their respective friends.  Meanwhile, Xena hasn't been feeling too well, and Gabrielle convinces her to see a healer.  There, she gets the news... she's pregnant!  Xena then gets violent with this "quack" and leaves.  Joxer tries to help Gabby carry a sack of apples against her will.  Gabrielle tries to feed the new horse an apple to no success.  Arman gets advice from Gabby about how to get back on the right foot with Amarice.  Xena is showing motherly behavior.  And Gabby tries to win the horse's trust by wrapping up her own ankle, too.  Elsewhere, Talia and Xena are arguing about why Xena can't help get rid of this Darcon guy when Talia confides in Xena not only that Darcon is her own husband, but also that she too thinks Xena is pregnant.  "My mother was a midwife, Xena.  Wake up and smell the diapers."  At this, Xena finally seems to accept her "condition" and goes to the saloon for some, well, milk.  "I said MILK!  What, am I overage?" she yells at the bartender who had laughed at this request.  Needless to say, at her outraged expression, his face falls and he fetches her drink.  Lol. Amarice turns up and tries to ask for help from Xena about Araman... but Xena's thoughts are too consumed by her own new problem.  Arman turns up as Xena leaves and manages to offend Amarice yet again.  Nevertheless, in the fire of their argument, they share a passionate kiss!  In the middle of this, Joxer walks in and picks on Amarice.  This sparks another argument and they all split.  Back at the stable, Gabrielle is just about to give up trying to win over the new horse when he finally seems to take to her.  Talia rides out of town and Xena explains to Argo her situation.  "Gabrielle's gonna freak."  On her way to talk to Gabby, she runs into Arman again.  "Any fool can risk his life, it takes a hero to risk his heart," she advises him.  "Well, tell that to Amarice!"  "I've got a better idea."  He meets Amarice in the saloon yet again and calls her "phony" when she tries too hard to act "nice."  They split...again.  Finally, the entire gang find themselves in the horses' stalls, chaotically arguing about their own various problems.  Xena chooses this time to announce, "I'M PREGNANT!"  Clearly, this trumps everyone else's news, and so they get quiet real quick!  Confusion sets in but is followed immediately by congratulations.  Joxer then breaks the news that Darcon will be there by sundown!  Amarice and Arman make up...which includes a little more making out.  Darcon and Talia have a showdown while Xena, Gabby, Amarice, and Arman get rid of his gang.  One of the gang members goes to burn down the stall, when the new horse comes out and kicks him into the trough!  Talia finally manages to get her sword at Darcon's throat and says that the rest of their fight is up to a judge.  Xena nods.  Amarice and Arman say their goodbyes and Xena and Gabby ride out of town, Gabrielle on her new horse.