ENDGAME

Ephiny, queen of the Amazons, is killed by Brutus in a fight with the Romans.  Elsewhere, Gabby is showing Xena how she goes fishing with a net when they are suddenly interrupted by an Amazon named Amarice.  "I come from the village of your tribe, my queen."  But Gabrielle knows she isn't queen unless Ephiny....  "Ephiny is dead."  Amarice tells Gabrielle that they need her to lead them.  Xena and Gabby visit Ephiny's body where we learn that "Pompey's trying to rebuild his army so he can go after Caesar again.  For that, he needs money; so he's selling our friends as slaves."  We also learn that Amarice, by nature, is all too ready to fight.  Before we know it, Brutus himself is being dragged behind Xena's horse -all the way back to the Amazon village.  After Xena learns the whereabouts of the Amazon captives from Brutus (via the pinch), Gabrielle has him locked up.  Later, Xena tells Amarice that Gabrielle "is not the weakling that you think she is."  She tries to explain Gabrielle's way.  Later still, the Romans are ambushed by the Amazons, setting the captives free and taking prisoners.  But Pompey is planning an attack!  Gabby tells Brutus, "As queen of the Amazons, I propose a treaty of peace... to Caesar."  Soon enough, Pompey's army is positioning themselves on one side of the Amazons while Caesar's is on the other.  "In getting to Pompey, Caesar wants to obliterate us," explains Xena.  She then sets Brutus free.  WAR!  Xena nearly kills Pompey but "if you kill me, Caesar gains control."  But when he tries to stab her in the back, she beheads him anyway.  His army scatters and Brutus decides to leave the Amazons alone.  Xena tells him that his faith in Caesar is misplaced and to pretend that the whole victory was his own doing -not hers.  Brutus then goes on to deliver the Amazons' peace treaty to Caesar  ...and he burns it in the fire!  "If they're not under my control, Brutus, they're a threat."  Brutus then denies knowledge of Xena.  Back in the Amazon village, Ephiny's funeral is taking place.  Gabby hands her queendom over to another, Amarice makes plans to travel with Xena and Gabrielle, and our heroes finally get a chance to mourn for Ephiny.

TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

Surprise!  Xena walks into her mom's tavern and gets a birthday greeting intended for Gabrielle -who isn't arriving until the next day.  At the tavern, we find Cyrene (Xena's mom), Lila (Gabby's sister), Minya, Joxer, Autolycus, and some suspicious blonde.  After Xena heads to bed, she hears a crashing noise.  She runs to the window to see someone outside, runs into Cyrene's room to find her mother missing, and then breaks into another room to find said mysterious blonde dead with a knife in her chest!  Soon enough, Discord (the goddess of retribution) is in the room giving Xena an ultimatum to "cough up the killer" by sunrise.  Discord leaves before everyone else enters the scene and the Clue references start flying around.  We learn that the victim was a bounty hunter.  At first, Xena suspects Cyrene.  We learn that the woman's name was Ravenica -and she was out to kill Xena!  Upon going through her belongings, the gang finds rocks in a small pouch.  Hm?  We also learn (from Minya) that Ravenica would catch her bounties by cutting their horse's tendons!  As they head back to the scene of the crime, Joxer secretly snatches a piece of parchment, smells it, seems to recognize it, and then tucks it away.  "Ravenica has been murdered and someone here is responsible," declares Xena.  Suddenly, Gabrielle runs into the room shouting something about trouble.  (Surprise....)  Soon, after believing the killer to be Cyrene, Auto tries to leave but is zapped across the room by Discord.  "I should have known Xena wouldn't have the guts to turn in her own mom."  Xena deflects Discord's arrow with her chakram and persuades her to give her until sunrise to be sure.  Then, Gabby finds diamonds that had spilled out of Auto's bag!  "Okay, I'm a thief!  Hey, there's news!" And Xena notices that he wasn't the only one to go through her stuff; there is a scent of lavender and a missing scroll.  Next, they discover a nasty rash on Ravenica's neck.  They also find an inky bump on her head.  Hm?  At last, Minya confesses that the knife belongs to her -but she still claims innocence.  Xena reveals that Ravenica was dead before she was stabbed!  "I killed Ravenica," confesses Gabrielle!  (She put Joxer's gravy recipe in her waterbag with the intent of slowing her down with the "trots.")  Enter Discord!  However, Xena finds that the waterbag is still full.  Unfortunately, Discord is tired of all this and moves the deadline.  Xena then gets a confession out of Joxer -during which he nearly lets slip his love for Gabrielle.  Ravenica had mistaken Joxer for Jett -and Jett was the face on the missing bounty scroll that Joxer stole.  Then, Autolycus admits to knowing Ravenica.  He didn't just steal her diamonds, he was trying to stop her from "cashing in" on Xena.  So, Discord comes for Auto!  Xena manages to convince her that Ares wouldn't be pleased if she got the wrong person and let someone else "escape retribution."  Now Discord declares that she'll take them all if the killer isn't found by her next visit.  Next, Minya and Lila explain their part in the night's events.  Minya had given Lila her knife to let Lila set Ravenica's horse loose.  But, when she got caught, Minya made a diversion in Ravenica's room.  Suddenly, as the gang is coming to no conclusion fast, Discord reappears.  A fight!  Xena sees some chandelier swinging action and stops the fight.  "I know who did it!"  She then explains how Argo kicked Ravenica and sent the knife flying through the air and into her chest.  "The first hit from the chandelier knocked her down and the second one killed her."  But Discord can't take Argo for acting in self-defense.  Gabby concludes that everyone behaved out of love.  Happy birthday!

THE CONVERT

After an attack from a band of thugs, we learn that a man named Kryton has taken captives.  They (Xena, Gabrielle, and Joxer) find him beating up a girl.  Xena fights him and Gabby uses a smoke compact.  The girl is soon revealed as Najara.  What's more shocking, however, is that Joxer kills Kryton!  Joxer is shaken up by this but claims to be fine.  Najara admits to escaping from prison and is, reportedly, following a path of nonviolence.  The plan is to get her healthy and take her back to jail.  They take Kryton's body back to the village where Joxer is rewarded and praised for killing that "son of a Bacchae."  Gabrielle helps Najara and tries to convince Xena that she has put down the sword.  We learn that Kryton has a son!  Joxer wants to go explain everything to him.  Later, Gabrielle learns that Najara has met Eli!  Najara tells Gabrielle that they walk the same path of peace.  Meanwhile, Joxer's guilt is causing hallucinations of Kryton accusing him of being bad natured.  That night, Xena expresses her concern for Gabrielle.  "I don't like you being in the thick of things knowing you won't fight."  Later, Xena accuses Najara of being the "same old wacko underneath."  So Najara pulls out the crucifixion vision card to end the conversation.  Finally, they meet Kryton's son, Arman.  Apparently, he idolizes an idealized version of the father he never knew and Joxer can't bring himself to crush his vision of this hero with his confession.  Xena simply breaks the news that his father was killed in a fight.  Unfortunately, Arman wants vengeance.  Xena invites him to travel with them for a while.  Later, Gabrielle lets Najara know that her place is with Xena.  Najara argues that this will only be true up until Xena does something that not even Gabrielle can excuse.  She warns Gabrielle that a time will come when she'll have to choose between Xena and her own soul.  Elsewhere, one of Kryton's men shows up to avenge his death.  Joxer keeps him from announcing his secret and Xena gets rid of him.  At night, Gabrielle explains to Xena that she doesn't see the point of returning a reformed person to prison.  Again, Xena warns Gabrielle and challenges her to say no to Najara.  That same night, Najara tells Arman the whole truth about his father!  And he's still out for vengeance...until Gabrielle convinces him that Joxer's guilt is worse than death.  Xena later gets it through his head that Joxer killed a man Arman never knew.  Next, Xena and Gabrielle argue some more about Najara but are interrupted by Kryton's men.  A fight!  Xena does defeat the men, but when Xena gets injured and Gabby tries to run to her aid against Najara's will, the zealot (a.k.a Najara) flips out and she and Xena fight up in the trees.  Najara is stabbed and goes into some sort of a coma.  We last see her asleep behind bars.  So Gabrielle won't fight?  "With me around, you won't have to," assures Xena.

THE PLAY'S THE THING

Gabrielle has lost one of her scrolls and yoga isn't helping her (or Xena) forget about it.  Xena convinces her to go back into town after it.  There, in a silly little bit, Gabrielle runs across Joxer.  They are soon met by the flattering words of a theatrical producer (Zehra) who has found Gabby's missing scroll.  Zehra talks Gabrielle into allowing her scroll to be turned into a play!  We soon find out that this woman plans to turn Gabrielle's vision of peace into a theatrical disaster -resulting in the possible murder of Gabrielle!  Well, Gabrielle is appointed director and Joxer her assistant.  Open casting call!  (Minya appears as one of the cast.)  Zehra is trying to make money through warlord investors.  She's counting on the play's failure for her own success.  Joxer is soon promoted to producer.  Rehearsal!  (Gabrielle has cast herself as Gabrielle!)  At the rehearsal, the cast begins to complain that the play contains too much talk and not enough violence.  But Gabby is adamant about her message of peace.  Yet, as producer, Joxer makes some changes.  (Namely, more blood and sex.)  Frustrated, Gabrielle leaves and wonders what Sophocles would say -artist to artist.  She walks into his theatre only to find more blood and sex!  Thus, when Joxer has everyone ready to apologize, Gabrielle announces her changes.  (Let's just say the warlords will love the presentation.)  Of course, the play's newfound potential success has Zehra concerned.  "We have to get Gabrielle back to that boring, pretentious, heavy-handed material we fell in love with."  So, Zehra excitedly tells Gabrielle that her play is certain to inspire armies to violence!  Uh-oh.  Back to the original vision!  At opening night, a warlord interrupts the performance in an attempt to kidnap Gabby to get to Xena.  But the real Xena steps in.  "No time to talk; it's time to act!"  Fight!  Thinking this all part of the show, the crowd goes wild.  But Gabrielle spots Zehra trying to escape the building and gets help catching her by shouting, "Interactive theatre; everybody join in!"  During the brawl, a critic references a play opening across the street titled Buffus the Bacchae Slayer.  Afterwards, Xena sees that the proceeds go to an orphanage and also reassures Gabrielle that it wasn't stupid to think that people would want to hear about peace.  "It's all anyone really wants."  Also, Minya admits that she's a thespian!