FINS, FEMMES & GEMS

Aphrodite has stolen a mystic diamond for use in her own constellation. And, so that Xena and her "pesky posse" (Gabrielle and Joxer) don't get in the way, she puts a spell of obsession on each of them depending on what they are thinking/looking at. Coincidentally, Joxer becomes obsessed with acting like an Ape from a love story, Gabby becomes full of herself, and Xena just has to go fishing! Xena maintains focus (somewhat) on retrieving the diamond. She creates an avalanche...then she goes fishing. Soon, while preparing a fire, she notices that Gabrielle is missing! She saves her from drowning! (Gabby had fallen in the water while trying to kiss her own reflection!) Then, while talking to Joxer, Gabrielle appears to him as a she-monkey. And Xena remembers catching fish with a young Lyceus. They had found a "great opponent" (for a fish) named Solaris. Now Xena has a renewed interest in catching him. She cuts off a piece of Gabrielle's hair to use as bait. "Do you ever get the feeling that we're forgetting something really important?" asks Gabrielle. "That diamond thing," replies Xena. The next thing we know, the ape-man returns and takes Gabby away. Xena rescues her...and goes back to fishing. Then, Xena inspires jealousy in Gabrielle, making her think that Aphrodite only wanted the diamond because she thinks she's more deserving/perfect. Thus, Xena uses Gabrielle's obsession to put her focus back on the diamond. Gabby finds the diverted thugs and fights them, capturing the gem. Joxer helps. Finally, Xena launches the diamond into the heavens (along with Solaris -who took it as bait). Suddenly, with some insight, the spell lifts from each of them in turn. Well, except for Joxer. (They'll help him tomorrow. Anything to torture the poor guy!) Xena learns to make sure Gabrielle feels appreciated for a change.

FORGET ME NOT

Looks like Gabrielle's past has finally caught up with her. She has memories of what happened with Hope and they're affecting her ability to even eat and sleep. "It's like I'm paying for something but I don't know what it is." Xena is elsewhere, so Joxer steps up to try and help. But Gabrielle eventually decides to enter the temple of Mnemosyne. The priestess there has the ability to empty a person of all their memories. Even the good ones! Gabrielle learns that her memory has three rivers and that she must cross them all in order to find the answer to her pain. Only then will she make the decision to lose her memories or to keep them. Soon, Joxer breaks his way into the temple to rescue Gabrielle. But he leaves with a memory-less version of her. Next, we see the journeying Gabrielle on the bank of the first river. Ares appears and warns her! She steps into this River of Wailing anyway. She remembers losing her blood innocence and all that went down with Crassus. She ends up covered in blood and screaming! After that ordeal passes, she manages to make her way to the icy River of Woe. Ares warns her yet again. Elsewhere, Joxer tries to remind the shell of Gabrielle who she is. (The first scroll he reads to her is called "Sins of the Past!") Meanwhile, the journeying Gabrielle falls into the water and remembers what happened in China. (Joxer is busy making himself out to be mighty.) After a setback, Gabrielle moves forward through a fiery river where she recalls Illusia...and the moment when Xena left Gabrielle to head off to Chin. It was Ares! He's the one who transported Gabrielle to China ahead of Xena! And, most importantly, we learn that Gabrielle's motivation wasn't to stop Xena from killing. It wasn't to save a best friend. No, it was out of jealousy over Lao Ma. She was jealous that someone else might be more important to Xena than herself! This has been torturing Gabby because her action (based on such a petty feeling) nearly destroyed her best friend. Now that she has the answer, does she decide to get rid of her memories? Back with Joxer, Gabrielle's memories return to her in full! Suddenly, Xena shows up. She knew what was going on with Gabrielle (Gabby talks in her sleep) and had them wait at the temple to give her a chance to deal with it all. Now, Xena's just glad that she made it back. Gabrielle tries to apologize to Xena. "No, it's over," Xena replies.

WHEN IN ROME...

A legendary fighter named Vercinix is captured in a battle against the Romans in Gaul. Enter Caesar. He plans to have Vercinix executed for the people and, more importantly, Caesar's reputation. In Syria, Xena captures another man for herself. We learn that this man is not only a member of the triumvirate of Imperial Rome, but he is useful to Xena. "I'm gonna trade you for Vercinix." Back at Caesar's palace, Caesar is taken by surprise by Xena and Gabrielle's presence. He goes to see for himself that Xena has Crassus (alive) while Gabby stays behind as collateral. Xena then agrees to accompany Caesar at a "show off Vercinix" party he's already planned. Meanwhile, Gabrielle has concerns over both Xena's ability to NOT assassinate Caesar and for Crassus' safety in the trade off. (She's afraid he'll be executed in place of Vercinix.) Caesar allows Xena to visit Vercinix in prison where she makes a mold of his prison cell's key. We soon learn that Caesar's not going through with the trade after all! Xena guesses that, once Caesar realizes he's about to execute Crassus in place of Vercinix, it won't matter anymore. Crassus will die. Of course, Gabrielle can't stand the thought of sending a man to his death, so she plans to give him back his Imperial Ring (which identifies him as Crassus) to spare his life at the hands of the guards. Later, acting like a drunk, Gabrielle intentionally gets herself and Crassus thrown into the prison where Vercinix waits. Even later still, Caesar captures Xena and has her thrown in prison, too. With Crassus drugged and asleep, the gang unlock the doors and make the switch. Soon, Xena is brought out for a spectacle of combat. She's killing time. Meanwhile, as Gabrielle and Vercinix escape, Gabrielle is moved by Vercinix's story and decides that Crassus' death is something that need not be prevented. She doesn't give him his ring! Xena wins the fight and is taken back to her cell. (But we all know how well that holds her!) Crassus is unveiled and Caesar is shocked. But the people think it's Vercinix and want him dead. "Give the people what they want." And Crassus is executed shouting, "Tell them who I am!" Gabrielle wonders what is happening to her and Xena wonders how many more times she is going to hurt Gabrielle.

KING CON

Joxer wins big money gambling and is quickly conned out of it in an amusing little scene by two con men. Thinking himself all the richer, Joxer walks away with fool's gold. But the real trouble starts when some thugs from the gaming house beat Joxer up when he doesn't have the cash on his person. (Some people are just sore losers!) Xena and Gabrielle find him near death and take him into their care. (Gabby's got a freshly sprained ankle!) Xena finds the two con men, Eldon and Rafe, and recruits their help to go up against the owner of the gaming house, Titus, and his son, Leo. In the process, Eldon bets Rafe that he can't get Xena to even kiss him.... The plan is to take Titus for all he's worth. And Xena quickly guesses their petty bet concerning herself. Damn! They head to the gaming house where Gabby soon gets caught sneaking around. (Intentional!) Xena steps in and even has a tempting murderous moment that Gabrielle pulls her out of. Later, after Xena shamelessly undresses and dresses infront of Rafe, we find Joxer has come back to consciousness. (He wants to go after Titus for himself.) The gang trick Leo into coughing up one of Titus' jewels and so the depletion of riches begins. But now Joxer is missing! Wait...they found him. A fight! Later, Rafe and Xena nearly kiss for real. And we learn that Eldon is giving inside help to Titus. Hm. The next thing we know, Rafe comes after him for being a traitor and Eldon stabs him in the side. All this happens infront of Titus and everyone else in the gaming house. The kiss happens. Thinking he won't be tricked with Rafe dead, Titus agrees to play Xena in a card game; winner takes all. Xena wins. Rafe, alive, joins the following fight. (Yes, it was all a scheme. Even Eldon's part.) And, in a humorous ending, they begin to try to explain the whole story to Joxer -starting with the "gold nugget." Poor Joxer. (P.S. Xena finds Rafe to be genuine after all.)

FORGIVEN

A temple is attacked and the urn of Apollo is stolen! The priest comes to Xena and Gabrielle for help. Soon, some punk teenager picks on Gabby and gives her a beating. She's done some bad deeds in her past and wants to "turn it around." Looking past the bad start she made with Gabrielle, Xena agrees to let this Tara show them the thieves' hideout. Tara soon begins to prove herself. Gabrielle teaches Xena that "it's easier to believe in yourself after someone else has believed in you first." By the campfire that night, Tara continues to test Gabrielle. Xena teaches Tara that being unselfish is a good place to start doing good. Later, after the gang splits up for strategic reasons, Tara and Gabrielle get themselves trapped. Xena saves them in the nick of time! Then, left alone once again, Gabrielle gives Tara a little tough love. That night, Gabby invents Charades! And we get an idea (from a kiss) that Tara might be a traitor. Next, the three sneak into a castle in search of the urn. Tara finds it first and runs off with it! WTF? But it turns out, when it comes down to it, she wants to return it to the temple of Apollo. Good thing, too. Because her partner in crime was just using her. Anyway, a fight! The urn is returned and Tara and Gabrielle are anointed by the urn for forgiveness. Xena, however, walks out.

ONE AGAINST AN ARMY

Gabrielle sprains her ankle trying to do one of Xena's flips. She and Xena are then informed that the Persians are after Athens. (And if Athens falls, Greece is lost.) "What are we going to do?" "Stop them." Later, on their way to create a landslide that will divert the Persians, Xena and Gabrielle are attacked by a soldier. He admits to being a Spartan deserter. Xena offers him the chance to redeem himself by joining their efforts against the Persians. Soon, they are attacked by an advance party and Gabrielle is shot through the chest with an arrow! A poison arrow! The "deserter" is sent away on some mission and Xena informs the injured Gabby that he's actually a Persian spy! (Xena's tricked him into telling the Persians of a landslide that they no longer have time to create. That way, they'll be diverted anyway.) Xena and Gabrielle are off to Tripolis for the antidote. But it's not there! Gabby keeps a good attitude even though they soon find out that the arrow has grazed her lung and she no longer has much time. Choice: save Athens or leave and save Gabrielle. Gabrielle, with her health quickly deteriorating, pleads with Xena to work for the greater good. So...Xena prepares to take on an army alone! "Even in death, Gabrielle, I will never leave you." (Gorgeous music in this episode, by the way.) Gabrielle apologizes "about China." "That's all in the past. All I want is to be with you right now." BUT here come the Persians! Big fight! The spy returns and tries to kill Gabrielle. Xena stabs him with a poison arrow. He leads her to a bottle of the antidote! She fends off the army with impressive skill. "Go home; there are thousands more like me." Gabrielle is saved!

THE BITTER SUITE

Gabrielle has been undergoing an Amazon purification ritual for 3 days. Xena is elsewhere singing a mournful melody on a mountaintop when Ares appears and inspires vengeance against Gabrielle. Also, a vision of Callisto appears to Gabrielle and inspires hatred against Xena for deserting her in Brittania. Joxer is concerned for Gabrielle's well-being and gets her out of the hut. Just then, Argo gallops into the camp carrying one angry warrior princess. Xena gives Ephiny, the Amazons, and Joxer a beating and then violently drags Gabrielle behind her running horse (NOT Argo) to a cliff where they both fall. Suddenly, as they land in the water, we hear Callisto's voice reciting something poetic. She looks...different. (Maxfield Parrish's artistic influence is beginning to show!) "Don't use words; sing a song! This is Illusia!" Yep, it's a MUSICAL, folks! Commence song sung by tarot card characters! Next, Gabrielle too is pulled nude from the waters -only, by Joxer. (He's dressed just as colorfully as Callisto.) He, too, clothes her. (There will be many costume changes.) Then we have a Xena war number followed by a Gabby in Potadeia number. The two worlds clash and it ends with Xena running Gabrielle through with a sword! After a song and dance with Ares, however, Xena feels remorse. "Did that ease your suffering?" asks Callisto. Then Gabrielle appears! Alive! "You killed me!" "I killed an illusion." "If that's supposed to make me feel better...." Next, the duo are transported to a large hall where they blame each other in song. Suddenly, Dahak's flames transport them to where Gabrielle lost her blood innocence. A song about hate is sung by their enemies: Callisto, Ares, Caesar, Khrafstar, and even each other. "That's what we're fighting -hatred!" Next is a loving "how could I hate you" tune. All of the bad guys burst away -except for one mysteriously cloaked figure.... Next, they find Solan at a waterfall. And the one enemey unveils himself as Ming Tien! Xena admits to killing him. "You lied?" asks Gabrielle. Xena asks for forgiveness in song. She also tells Solan she's his mother and apologizes, listing her regrets. Gabrielle offers her hand to pull Xena through the waters. Ming Tien bursts away and the next thing we know they are out of Illusia as friends once again.

MATERNAL INSTINCTS

Xena and Gabrielle return to the village where Solan lives. We are reintroduced to Kaleipus, Solan's caretaker. There's some sort of treaty in the works and Gabrielle jerks at the mention of "hope." Elsewhere, Callisto somehow escapes from fire (still a god) with the help of a young girl. Back in the village, Ephiny surprises Gabrielle with her presence but notices that something is wrong. Gabby tells of her child, Hope, and that "she died." Soon, the aforementioned young girl (who calles herself "Fayla") crosses paths with Gabrielle, looking for Xena. She has a message from Callisto who knows about Solan! We learn that "Fayla" is Hope!!! And, unfortunately, she's become Daddy's little girl. Soon, Gabrielle too learns that the child is her own (Hope already knew) but she keeps it to herself. She tells Hope to wait in the hut until she gets back. Xena and Gabrielle leave to fool Callisto with the "old bait and switch." Meanwhile, Hope, on her way to the hut, kills Kaleipus! Xena agrees to raise Solan in his stead and Solan wishes this, too. (It seems that Xena plans on telling Solan, while on the road, that she's his mom.) Finally, "Fayla" and Gabrielle meet up in the hut where Gabrielle reveals to Hope that she's her mother. Ignorant of the child's evil essence, Gabby takes her to Kaleipus' hut where Solan is also hiding. Then she tells Ephiny and Xena that Callisto is targeting the children. She also confesses to Xena that the child is Hope. But once Xena finds out that Solan is in danger, she B lines it outta there. And she finds Solan...dead. Oh no! Callisto is brought no real satisfaction from his death but that doesn't stop Xena from trapping her once again. Gabrielle, now hopeless, has poisoned Hope and nearly drinks some herself. At the funeral, Xena blames Gabrielle. Consider this friendship in danger....

THE QUILL IS MIGHTIER...

Some young delinquents graffiti Aphrodite's temple in favor of Xena. Ares blames Gabrielle -whose scrolls have created a legend. So Aphrodite decides to put a spell on Gabrielle's scroll that makes anything she writes come true. Once Gabby catches on, she tries using her power for good. (She and Joxer are traveling together while Xena has gone fishing.) However, trouble proves to be unavoidable as an outcome and even her phrasing begins causing problems. In the mix, Ares and Aphrodite lose their powers and Minya arrives on scene. Joxer asks for love advice (about Gabrielle) from Aphrodite. He writes a limerick on the enchanted scroll accidentally causing three naked Gabrielles to appear. He charmingly sells his sword to buy Gabby a necklace "to say sorry." The scroll (which was hidden in the scabbard) gets lost in the transaction! To the caves! A chase ensues over possession of the scroll! Gabby has the scroll sent to Xena who figures out that if truer words are written, the spell will break. A fish fight! (Commentated by Joxer.) Gabrielle writes the facts and, suddenly, the gods get their powers back. The spell is broken! Hooray!