FALLEN ANGEL

Joxer, driven by nightmares, has set out to find Xena and Gabrielle.  Instead, he meets Amarice and Eli–who show him his friends' crucified bodies.  Joxer is determined to take their bodies back to Greece.  Elsewhere, the souls of Xena and Gabrielle are waiting on an otherworldly cliff where angels come to carry them off to paradise.  But they are suddenly ambushed by a pack of demons.  Gabby falls into the dark abyss and demon-Callisto plans to take Xena to her lord.  The archangel, Michael, rescues Xena.  But as soon as she realizes what has happened to Gabrielle, Xena tries to jump into hell to save her.  Michael stops her only to have Xena pleading for wings.  Meanwhile, in hell, Gabrielle wakes up with Callisto's arm around her.  She learns that if she eats their food, she'll become like them.  Joxer, Amarice, and Eli take Xena and Gabrielle's bodies down from the crosses.  Michael takes Xena to a cave and tells her that, if she wants to become an archangel, she must walk through it.  Therein lies a choice.  On one hand, Xena could walk through water.  On the other, fire.  She chooses the path of the fire and becomes an angel.  Back on earth, Amarice cuts a lock of Xena's hair and promises to "honor the memory of the Warrior Princess."  She then blames Eli for their deaths.  (He "infected" Gabrielle with his ideas of peace and rendered her helpless.)  Meanwhile, angel-Xena learns that she can free Gabrielle from hell by giving up her "light" -but it will doom herself.  BUT, there should be no need for Xena to sacrifice herself if only they can get to Gabby before she becomes a full demon.  Unfortunately, Gabby is busy in hell being force-fed until she gives in.  Soon enough, a demonic looking Gabrielle turns on Callisto and talks to her about her family.  "You know what I think?  You wanted them to die so you'd have a reason to be a bitch."  Fortunately, incoming angels break up their fight before they have a chance to strangle one another.  Michael grabs demon-Gabrielle and makes an escape, but angel-Xena finds herself with an incredible compassion for Callisto and gives her her light.  In paradise, Gabby is thrown into the water and restored.  It is then that she learns of Xena's deed.  "Who did she save?"  Demon-Xena is busy planning an attack when Gabrielle is shown the angelic, pure form of the newly restored Callisto.  (Gabby doesn't take this well, at first, and Callisto has no memory of her murderous past.  She is as she would have been had Xena not killed her family.)  Joxer and Amarice find a place to bury their friends since it's too dangerous to bring them back to Greece.  Gabby heads off into a cave (to earn her wings) and encounters Callisto.  They have an engaging conversation where an embittered Gabrielle tries to shake Callisto out of her sweetness "act."  But they reconcile at last and Gabby gets her wings.  The demons are coming!  The first angel Xena sees is Gabby.  Demon-Xena tries to convince her to join them with talk of trickery and love and going through hell alone.  Gabby says she is sorry.  A fight!  Eli is sitting alone praying a frustrated prayer when Callisto's spirit gives him his answer.  "Love is the way. Go to them."  As the spirits of Xena and Gabrielle fight in the heavens, Eli goes to their corpses and places his hands on their heads.  Callisto joins him and our heroes resurrect!  Joxer, Amarice, and Eli himself are all in wonder.  Callisto looks at Michael and he nods.  She then reaches out to touch Xena -who feels something.  Then, Michael lets Callisto finally meet her family!  "We're going to be together... for eternity," Gabrielle says to Xena.

DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN

It is modern day and Annie (played by Lucy Lawless) has a dream / past-life experience.  (We see a clip from Callisto.)  She believes she used to be Xena, the warrior princess.  But her boyfriend, Harry (played by Ted Raimi), isn't buying it.  Nevertheless, Annie goes to see a past lives counselor named Dr. Mattie (played by Renee O'Connor).  During her session, Annie remembers the lava pit scene from Sacrifice II.  But she feels as though she were "watching" Xena.  Dr. Mattie tells her this is because she didn't make a soul meld and they try again.  We learn that Marco (played by Robert Trebor), the man who runs the front desk of this establishment, has a gun in his desk.  To her horror, Annie realizes that she was, in her past life, Joxer!  "That ass.... He's the comic relief!"  At this point, Harry has entered the room, concerned for his girlfriend.  But there was something else strange about her memory; the doctor was there, too!  Pressured by Harry, Dr. Mattie takes them back yet again.  Only, this time, the doctor experiences something for herself.  "Self-hypnosis; I told you that was a danger with this scam," warns Marco privately.  Out to disprove this quack, Harry suggests that the doctor send him back, too.  "To be honest, I'd like to experience it again myself," replies Dr. Mattie.  We see a clip of a fight and it leaves Harry stunned.  "Annie, maybe Joxer wasn't such a bad guy," he finally says.  Soon enough, however, they all decide they aren't thinking straight and they try to leave.  "No charge," assures the doctor.  But Marco's got a gun and he's planning to take the money and run!  He claims to be settling an old score....  Then he ties them all up, sets up a bomb, and exits.  Dr. Mattie expresses her regret over the scam, afraid she's been poisoning her own karma.  "I'm gonna come back as a worm or a cockroach; no–a TV evangelist."  Meanwhile, Annie tries to rescue them all by attempting to escape.  But the others want to go back again to learn what they need to do next.  They are left with more confusion after their experience, so they try yet again.  (This time we see a clip of the kiss from the Quest.  "That was, um, confusing," says Dr. Mattie.)  And again.  With only a couple of minutes left before the bomb explodes, we all learn that Annie was Joxer, Dr. Mattie was Gabrielle, and Harry was Xena.  He disarms the bomb and Marco walks into the room... only to be revealed as none other than Ares!  Turns out, he's responsible for the threat of Y2K and he still wants Xena.  They fight and Ares loses.  "She's your soulmate," Annie tells Harry of Dr. Mattie.  (We see a clip from One Against An Army.)  "It's been a long time," Mattie tells Harry.  "It's been too long, friend," he replies.  They share a kiss and Annie leaves singing her own rendition of Joxer the Mighty.

THE IDES OF MARCH

Callisto is suffering in hell where she is let in on a little deal with "Him."  She appears to Caesar (who has just awoken from a fantasy/nightmare about Xena) and promises him ultimate power and the riddance of Xena.  Elsewhere... Xena, Gabby, and Amarice are on their way to see Eli when they are suddenly attacked.  (Gabrielle non-violently saves Amarice.)  We learn that Caesar has a fortune of a bounty out on Xena's head.  "I'm going to kill him," declares Xena.  But, especially after that vision, she's going into Rome alone.  Back at Caesar's, Callisto explains that the reward was only to get Xena to come to him.  Gabrielle and Amarice find Eli healing the sick.  They are discussing power as love versus power at the end of a sword when they are suddenly taken captive by Brutus and his men.  It's Caesar's orders in his own self-defense and he's promised no one will get hurt.  Gabrielle doesn't believe this and Brutus expresses regret that their friends' wars have brought them into conflict.  Meanwhile, Xena has disguised herself as one of the Roman guards and throws her chakram at Caesar's neck.  It is caught by Callisto!  "Guards!" he yells.  A fight!  Xena escapes through the window where Callisto is waiting.  (We learn that Caesar is planning to announce himself emperor on the Ides of March.)  "I'm here to make you an offer," tempts Callisto.  She informs Xena that Gabrielle is currently in Roman hands.  Nevertheless, Xena refuses to hear her out.  Back at the prison entrance, Brutus leads the captives.  It is snowing just as it was in the vision.  And they are building crosses... for a boatload of pirates who are expected to arrive any day now....  Suddenly, Amarice tries to attack one of Brutus' men but Gabrielle hovers over her to protect her from punishment.  "I remember a time when mercy was shown to you!" she reminds Brutus.  "Put down your swords," he relents.  Later, Xena sneaks up on Brutus as he's takin' a piss.  She makes a deal with him that if he tells her Gabrielle's whereabouts, she will give him information that will save his life.  With that, she tells him that Caesar has been talking to assassins in Gaul and Brutus reveals the location of the prison.  In the jail cell, Gabby and Eli are meditating while Amarice complains.  Just outside, Xena is planning her breaking and entering when Callisto reappears, promising Xena the chance to walk away with all her friends if she'll only leave her warrior way.  But more tempting than that is the offer to cleanse her of "that shame that drives you."  "To redeem myself, I have to fight evil with a sword...."  Xena walks away from an ever increasingly frustrated Callisto yet again.  Back in Rome, Caesar basically (and verbally) gives Brutus every reason to suspect and distrust him.  "I keep the vision from coming true and you leave Caesar alone," says Callisto in a final attempt to turn Xena away.  Xena refuses.  So, Callisto lets out a war cry just outside the prison.  This sends every guard searching for Xena -who is busy freeing the prisoners.  A fight!  Callisto watches in disappointment as Xena gains the upper hand and Gabrielle leads the captives to safety.  Still in possession of Xena's chakram, Callisto forcefully throws it at Xena, shattering her spine!  (The chakram breaks in two.)  Seeing Xena's knees buckle and watching her fall to the ground, Gabrielle suddenly snaps into desperate kill-mode.  She plants a javelin into the chest of Xena's would-be killer, takes up Xena's sword and kills their other attackers, and stabs a guard repeatedly with a dagger.  (All to the sound of Xena's protesting.)  "Interesting," remarks Callisto.  Suddenly aware of her actions, Gabrielle drops the bloody dagger and is quickly surrounded by Roman guards....  Xena wakes up in prison resting on Gabrielle's lap.  They are both dressed in rags.  (Elsewhere, Brutus secretly convinces the senate of the threat to Rome that Caesar is rapidly becoming.)  Xena blames herself for Gabrielle's leaving the way of love.  "I chose the way of friendship," Gabrielle explains.  Gabby also tells Xena that she used to feel invisible until they met.  "You saw all the things that I could be.  You saved me, Xena."  Guards arrive to drag them to their crosses as Callisto eats the falling snow.  She also reveals that her Lord's main concern was making Caesar dictator.  "So while you lie here helpless -he's declaring himself emperor."  But as the nails are driven through the hands and feet of our heroes, dozens of daggers are being plunged into Caesar's flesh at the hands of his senate.  Brutus, of course, finishes him off.  And the spirits of Xena and Gabrielle ascend together.

ENDGAME

Ephiny, queen of the Amazons, is killed by Brutus in a fight with the Romans.  Elsewhere, Gabby is showing Xena how she goes fishing with a net when they are suddenly interrupted by an Amazon named Amarice.  "I come from the village of your tribe, my queen."  But Gabrielle knows she isn't queen unless Ephiny....  "Ephiny is dead."  Amarice tells Gabrielle that they need her to lead them.  Xena and Gabby visit Ephiny's body where we learn that "Pompey's trying to rebuild his army so he can go after Caesar again.  For that, he needs money; so he's selling our friends as slaves."  We also learn that Amarice, by nature, is all too ready to fight.  Before we know it, Brutus himself is being dragged behind Xena's horse -all the way back to the Amazon village.  After Xena learns the whereabouts of the Amazon captives from Brutus (via the pinch), Gabrielle has him locked up.  Later, Xena tells Amarice that Gabrielle "is not the weakling that you think she is."  She tries to explain Gabrielle's way.  Later still, the Romans are ambushed by the Amazons, setting the captives free and taking prisoners.  But Pompey is planning an attack!  Gabby tells Brutus, "As queen of the Amazons, I propose a treaty of peace... to Caesar."  Soon enough, Pompey's army is positioning themselves on one side of the Amazons while Caesar's is on the other.  "In getting to Pompey, Caesar wants to obliterate us," explains Xena.  She then sets Brutus free.  WAR!  Xena nearly kills Pompey but "if you kill me, Caesar gains control."  But when he tries to stab her in the back, she beheads him anyway.  His army scatters and Brutus decides to leave the Amazons alone.  Xena tells him that his faith in Caesar is misplaced and to pretend that the whole victory was his own doing -not hers.  Brutus then goes on to deliver the Amazons' peace treaty to Caesar  ...and he burns it in the fire!  "If they're not under my control, Brutus, they're a threat."  Brutus then denies knowledge of Xena.  Back in the Amazon village, Ephiny's funeral is taking place.  Gabby hands her queendom over to another, Amarice makes plans to travel with Xena and Gabrielle, and our heroes finally get a chance to mourn for Ephiny.

TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

Surprise!  Xena walks into her mom's tavern and gets a birthday greeting intended for Gabrielle -who isn't arriving until the next day.  At the tavern, we find Cyrene (Xena's mom), Lila (Gabby's sister), Minya, Joxer, Autolycus, and some suspicious blonde.  After Xena heads to bed, she hears a crashing noise.  She runs to the window to see someone outside, runs into Cyrene's room to find her mother missing, and then breaks into another room to find said mysterious blonde dead with a knife in her chest!  Soon enough, Discord (the goddess of retribution) is in the room giving Xena an ultimatum to "cough up the killer" by sunrise.  Discord leaves before everyone else enters the scene and the Clue references start flying around.  We learn that the victim was a bounty hunter.  At first, Xena suspects Cyrene.  We learn that the woman's name was Ravenica -and she was out to kill Xena!  Upon going through her belongings, the gang finds rocks in a small pouch.  Hm?  We also learn (from Minya) that Ravenica would catch her bounties by cutting their horse's tendons!  As they head back to the scene of the crime, Joxer secretly snatches a piece of parchment, smells it, seems to recognize it, and then tucks it away.  "Ravenica has been murdered and someone here is responsible," declares Xena.  Suddenly, Gabrielle runs into the room shouting something about trouble.  (Surprise....)  Soon, after believing the killer to be Cyrene, Auto tries to leave but is zapped across the room by Discord.  "I should have known Xena wouldn't have the guts to turn in her own mom."  Xena deflects Discord's arrow with her chakram and persuades her to give her until sunrise to be sure.  Then, Gabby finds diamonds that had spilled out of Auto's bag!  "Okay, I'm a thief!  Hey, there's news!" And Xena notices that he wasn't the only one to go through her stuff; there is a scent of lavender and a missing scroll.  Next, they discover a nasty rash on Ravenica's neck.  They also find an inky bump on her head.  Hm?  At last, Minya confesses that the knife belongs to her -but she still claims innocence.  Xena reveals that Ravenica was dead before she was stabbed!  "I killed Ravenica," confesses Gabrielle!  (She put Joxer's gravy recipe in her waterbag with the intent of slowing her down with the "trots.")  Enter Discord!  However, Xena finds that the waterbag is still full.  Unfortunately, Discord is tired of all this and moves the deadline.  Xena then gets a confession out of Joxer -during which he nearly lets slip his love for Gabrielle.  Ravenica had mistaken Joxer for Jett -and Jett was the face on the missing bounty scroll that Joxer stole.  Then, Autolycus admits to knowing Ravenica.  He didn't just steal her diamonds, he was trying to stop her from "cashing in" on Xena.  So, Discord comes for Auto!  Xena manages to convince her that Ares wouldn't be pleased if she got the wrong person and let someone else "escape retribution."  Now Discord declares that she'll take them all if the killer isn't found by her next visit.  Next, Minya and Lila explain their part in the night's events.  Minya had given Lila her knife to let Lila set Ravenica's horse loose.  But, when she got caught, Minya made a diversion in Ravenica's room.  Suddenly, as the gang is coming to no conclusion fast, Discord reappears.  A fight!  Xena sees some chandelier swinging action and stops the fight.  "I know who did it!"  She then explains how Argo kicked Ravenica and sent the knife flying through the air and into her chest.  "The first hit from the chandelier knocked her down and the second one killed her."  But Discord can't take Argo for acting in self-defense.  Gabby concludes that everyone behaved out of love.  Happy birthday!

THE CONVERT

After an attack from a band of thugs, we learn that a man named Kryton has taken captives.  They (Xena, Gabrielle, and Joxer) find him beating up a girl.  Xena fights him and Gabby uses a smoke compact.  The girl is soon revealed as Najara.  What's more shocking, however, is that Joxer kills Kryton!  Joxer is shaken up by this but claims to be fine.  Najara admits to escaping from prison and is, reportedly, following a path of nonviolence.  The plan is to get her healthy and take her back to jail.  They take Kryton's body back to the village where Joxer is rewarded and praised for killing that "son of a Bacchae."  Gabrielle helps Najara and tries to convince Xena that she has put down the sword.  We learn that Kryton has a son!  Joxer wants to go explain everything to him.  Later, Gabrielle learns that Najara has met Eli!  Najara tells Gabrielle that they walk the same path of peace.  Meanwhile, Joxer's guilt is causing hallucinations of Kryton accusing him of being bad natured.  That night, Xena expresses her concern for Gabrielle.  "I don't like you being in the thick of things knowing you won't fight."  Later, Xena accuses Najara of being the "same old wacko underneath."  So Najara pulls out the crucifixion vision card to end the conversation.  Finally, they meet Kryton's son, Arman.  Apparently, he idolizes an idealized version of the father he never knew and Joxer can't bring himself to crush his vision of this hero with his confession.  Xena simply breaks the news that his father was killed in a fight.  Unfortunately, Arman wants vengeance.  Xena invites him to travel with them for a while.  Later, Gabrielle lets Najara know that her place is with Xena.  Najara argues that this will only be true up until Xena does something that not even Gabrielle can excuse.  She warns Gabrielle that a time will come when she'll have to choose between Xena and her own soul.  Elsewhere, one of Kryton's men shows up to avenge his death.  Joxer keeps him from announcing his secret and Xena gets rid of him.  At night, Gabrielle explains to Xena that she doesn't see the point of returning a reformed person to prison.  Again, Xena warns Gabrielle and challenges her to say no to Najara.  That same night, Najara tells Arman the whole truth about his father!  And he's still out for vengeance...until Gabrielle convinces him that Joxer's guilt is worse than death.  Xena later gets it through his head that Joxer killed a man Arman never knew.  Next, Xena and Gabrielle argue some more about Najara but are interrupted by Kryton's men.  A fight!  Xena does defeat the men, but when Xena gets injured and Gabby tries to run to her aid against Najara's will, the zealot (a.k.a Najara) flips out and she and Xena fight up in the trees.  Najara is stabbed and goes into some sort of a coma.  We last see her asleep behind bars.  So Gabrielle won't fight?  "With me around, you won't have to," assures Xena.

THE PLAY'S THE THING

Gabrielle has lost one of her scrolls and yoga isn't helping her (or Xena) forget about it.  Xena convinces her to go back into town after it.  There, in a silly little bit, Gabrielle runs across Joxer.  They are soon met by the flattering words of a theatrical producer (Zehra) who has found Gabby's missing scroll.  Zehra talks Gabrielle into allowing her scroll to be turned into a play!  We soon find out that this woman plans to turn Gabrielle's vision of peace into a theatrical disaster -resulting in the possible murder of Gabrielle!  Well, Gabrielle is appointed director and Joxer her assistant.  Open casting call!  (Minya appears as one of the cast.)  Zehra is trying to make money through warlord investors.  She's counting on the play's failure for her own success.  Joxer is soon promoted to producer.  Rehearsal!  (Gabrielle has cast herself as Gabrielle!)  At the rehearsal, the cast begins to complain that the play contains too much talk and not enough violence.  But Gabby is adamant about her message of peace.  Yet, as producer, Joxer makes some changes.  (Namely, more blood and sex.)  Frustrated, Gabrielle leaves and wonders what Sophocles would say -artist to artist.  She walks into his theatre only to find more blood and sex!  Thus, when Joxer has everyone ready to apologize, Gabrielle announces her changes.  (Let's just say the warlords will love the presentation.)  Of course, the play's newfound potential success has Zehra concerned.  "We have to get Gabrielle back to that boring, pretentious, heavy-handed material we fell in love with."  So, Zehra excitedly tells Gabrielle that her play is certain to inspire armies to violence!  Uh-oh.  Back to the original vision!  At opening night, a warlord interrupts the performance in an attempt to kidnap Gabby to get to Xena.  But the real Xena steps in.  "No time to talk; it's time to act!"  Fight!  Thinking this all part of the show, the crowd goes wild.  But Gabrielle spots Zehra trying to escape the building and gets help catching her by shouting, "Interactive theatre; everybody join in!"  During the brawl, a critic references a play opening across the street titled Buffus the Bacchae Slayer.  Afterwards, Xena sees that the proceeds go to an orphanage and also reassures Gabrielle that it wasn't stupid to think that people would want to hear about peace.  "It's all anyone really wants."  Also, Minya admits that she's a thespian!