THE XENA SCROLLS

The Xenaverse meets Indiana Jones' style! The year? 1940. Archaeologists dig in Macedonia. A gun fight of exceptionally poor aim ensues. Lucy Lawless is Southern Mel and Renee O'Connor is Indiana Janice. Mel translates ancient writings. "The most important archaeological find of the century" is the Xena Scrolls. And this is a clipisode! (Callisto.) Ted Raimi is Frenchman Leutenant Joxair. And a familiar villian is Smythe. (The Reckoning.) (Old B&W horror movies.) Mel finds the scrolls first. (Mortal Beloved.) They also find half of the chakram. It's magnetic-like power leads them to Smythe -who holds the other half. A fight! The 3 good guys escape into Ares' lair. The chakram unites as a whole and Ares awakens. He kills Smythe! We learn Joxair is a brush salesman from Jersey! And he's related to Joxer. (Callisto.) "It is written that only a descendant of Xena can release me back into the world," says Ares. And that's Mel! Janice is related to Gabrielle. (Callisto.) (Altared States.) Mel was putting on a show? She's actually tough? Ares calls her "Xena." (Hooves and Harlots.) (Doctor?) (Ties That Bind.) A fight! Ares gets trapped. 50 years later is a sales pitch for Rob Tapert's new TV show! (Main Title.)

A SOLSTICE CAROL

A scrooge-like king dishes out cruel punishments. He won't let the people celebrate solstice. A boy steals Xena's chakram for a tree-topper. X & G follow the thief to his orphanage. They too are under oppression there. So Xena, Gabrielle, and an ex toy maker named Sinticlese plot to non-violently change the king's mind. (Gabrielle buys a mule.) Then Xena poses as something akin to a Christmas Carol ghost. And Gabby poses as the king's dead wife. (Er...no. She didn't die; she left him!) Sinticlese goes to the orphanage in a disguise. (Hm. Looks a lot like Santa Clause!) We learn that the orphanage manager is the woman who left the king. The orphanage is under siege! A toy fight! The king has a change of heart. His wife forgives him. And Xena, Gabrielle, Argo, and the mule cross paths with a man, woman, and baby. The mule is given to them to help them on their journey. "May God smile on you always for your kindness." (And, with that, the child's face is all aglow.) Xena gives Gabrielle a toy lamb like Gabby cherished as a child. "Gabrielle, you are a gift to me." -Xena.

TEN LITTLE WARLORDS

Xena is still stuck in Callisto's body for this one. "Ares" has sent out 10 "invitations" to various warlords. Soon we discover that the real Ares is now mortal and that, as a result, common people not used to anger have turned violent. Someone's stolen his sword (godhood) -and that's why Xena's not in her original body. So Xena sets off with Ares. One of the 10 is to become the new god of war. Gabrielle and Joxer follow. Someone named Sisyphus is behind all this. "He's quite an escape artist." -Xena. (Not the same Sisyphus from Death in Chains.) The 10 draw numbers for who will fight the beast first for the sword. A fight! The 10 are slowly but steadily killing one another. In the mean time, Gabby and Joxer are fighting like siblings! And we learn the truth: whoever "wins" gets to endure Tartarus in place of Sisyphus while he becomes god of war! More killings. We find that the beast is a machine. Soon, everyone is dead except Ares and Xena. Ares gets his sword and godhood back. Ares acts like he won't give Xena her body back even though she saved his life. But, in the end, after Gabrielle pledges friendship regardless, Xena is back -body and soul.

INTIMATE STRANGER

Xena is having guilty dreams about letting Callisto suffocate in the quicksand. She and Gabrielle are following Callisto's Theodorus. So is Joxer -who takes a beating. Xena follows an apparition of Callisto and learns that somehow Callisto is back, free, and working with Ares. Xena thinks she's out to kill her mother in Amphipolis. She tells all this to Gabrielle and then we learn that it's actually Callisto in Xena's body! (Xena's in Callisto's body in Tartarus!) Argo is onto it atleast. Xena convinces Hades of the misdeed and he gives her one day to correct things. Callisto assaults Argo. Xena finds him and convinces Joxer of her true self. Callisto kills Theodorus and orders the capture of Amphipolis. A fight between Callisto and Xena ensues! Gabrielle jumps in accidentally befriending Callisto. That is until knowledge proves the truth. We learn that Callisto plans to burn Amphipolis and Ares is against the vengeance. Xena must use guilt to get to Callisto -her family. "I'm not taking the weight of your crimes anymore." -Xena. Now Xena is back -in Callisto's body. "Try not to think of the hatred you have for this body; for Callisto. Try and think of the love that you have for Perdicus." -Xena.

WARRIOR... PRINCESS... TRAMP

King Leas is dying and calls for Xena to help make a smooth transition for his daughter, Diana, as she moves into power. We later find there is a third look-alike named Meg. She and a man named Agus plan to make conquest. Meg has a thing for Joxer. But when Joxer accidentally makes a move on Diana, he gets himself thrown into the dungeon. Finally, the real Xena shows up. Joxer makes a move on her, too! Anyway, Xena poses as Meg to find Diana and set her free. Only, they find that Diana's baby is missing! Gabby and Meg fight then have a heart to heart. As Joxer had said, she is a victim of circumstance. Xena teaches Meg about doing good and leaves her to watch over the ailing king. Diana is captured again trying to save her baby. Meg is captured doing the same. Then Xena appears and sets things straight. The king may yet live and he hires Meg as his personal cook.

RETURN OF CALLISTO

Callisto escapes out of prison. Elsewhere, Perdicus shows up in Xena and Gabrielle's camp. He proposes to Gabrielle. She has no immediate answer. Callisto finds Joxer and has him deliver a message to Xena. Soon, in a village under seige, Xena sees her for herself. Callisto wants to kill Xena's SOUL. Perdicus kills again and gives fighting up for good. That's when Gabrielle decides that her answer is YES. (Why does Xena kiss Gabrielle after the wedding!) Xena learns that Callisto is after Gabrielle. Callisto kills Perdicus! Gabrielle, at his funeral, realizes that she wants vengeance. She wants Xena to teach her how to kill. We see Xena say a prayer for Gabrielle. Gabby sneaks into Callisto's camp but can't bring herself to kill. We see Joxer's loyalty to Gabrielle. (He's turned good.) Callisto captures both Gabrielle and Xena and tries to burn Gabby at the stake. (When did Gabby get a new outfit? The green one!) Xena escapes with Joxer's help and saves Gabrielle. A fight! Xena vs. Callisto! They chariot race until Callisto gets thrown into quicksand. Xena lets her suffocate!

GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN

Xena and Gabrielle cross the hunting grounds of Bacchus, God of Wine. Only the music of Orpheus tames the bacchae. A single bite from a bacchae makes girls into followers of Bacchus. If she drinks his wine/blood, she becomes a bacchae forever. Next, we find Joxer being chased by bacchae wolves. Xena fends them off. He brings a talking head to Xena from Orpheus; it is Orpheus! Anyway, the gang find that the man they were looking for has been hung! They split up at some festival. During a fight, trying to capture a certain lyre, Xena gets bit by bacchae? They then head to Bacchus' lair with Joxer. (Joxer can play the lyre.) We learn that Orpheus' wife Eurydice was killed because Xena failed to protect her. A dryad bone kills a bacchae. A struggle in a graveyard! And, just when we least expect it, Gabrielle has turned into a bacchae. To the catacombs! A fight! Bacchus can only be killed by a bacchae -se Xena lets Gabrielle bite her. Then Bacchus is killed with a dryad bone. ALL return to normal. Even Orpheus gets his body back.