LITTLE PROBLEMS

Some thugs are stealing from Aphrodite's temple when Gabrielle and a very pregnant Xena fight them off.  Xena notices a brand on one of the men.  She recognizes this brand as belonging to someone named Tharon.  She sends the man away with a warning to Tharon: "Stop looting or I'll finish what I started."  As the gang runs for it, Gabrielle asks who Tharon is.  "Someone I thought was dead," replies Xena.  Aphrodite appears and soon shows Xena and Gabrielle what she's been up to lately.  She's allowed people suffering from illnesses to crash in her temple while the sisters try to heal them.  (She also mentions the 20% increase in her offerings since this charity began!)  Xena notices a little girl who appears to be asleep and alone.  Aphrodite explains that the girl's name is Daphne and she's lost her will to live.  Her mother died and her father comes by on his way to work every morning.  Xena is then moved to speak to Daphne saying, "Kid, if I could trade places with ya, give ya a second chance, I'd do it in a heartbeat."  Well...Aphrodite doesn't think twice!  Before we know what has happened, Xena passes out unconscious and Aphrodite is explaining to Gabrielle that she's switched Daphne's life-force with Xena's!  Daphne sits up and asks, "Where am I?  Who are you?  Where's my mommy?"  At that last question, Aphrodite looks away....  Suddenly, though, Daphne begins speaking like Xena...but with the voice of a little girl.  Xena doesn't realize that she's trapped in Daphne's body until Aphrodite hands her a mirror.  "Oops!  I guess I didn't complete the switch!" exclaims the goddess.  Gabby reassures Daphne that Aphrodite has put Xena into her body...but it's only temporary...because she's going to switch it back...right?!  "Right!  Just as soon as I figure out how."  And the goddess vanishes!  Then, Daphne's father comes in, surprised and delighted that she is awake.  Daphne asks again where her mother is and her father just insists that they go home and they can talk there.  Gabrielle interrupts saying, "Wait!  I have...um...I have a friend...in your daughter."  Ha!!  The Xena-quality comes out of Daphne then and reassures Gabby that she'll be fine and tells her to stay there and work out what's wrong.  Elsewhere, Tharon receives Xena's warning and is looking forward to revenge.  He sends his men out looking for Xena.  Daphne and her father get home and he finally tells her that her mother is dead.  Crying, Daphne runs away from him.  Back at the temple, Gabby has wrapped Xena up in blankets and she and Aphrodite are brainstorming how to separate two souls that are trapped in one body.  Castor and Pollux (Zeus' twins who happen to be two souls trapped in one body) come up in conversation and Gabby recalls that one of them had created an oil that can separate them in times of battle.  Castor keeps it on his belt!  Back in Daphne's bedroom, the little girl wakes from a sleep and washes her face in front of a mirror.  Xena's reflection is seen and speaks words of consolation to Daphne and encourages her to start opening up and start talking to her dad even though they've never talked much in the past.  Meanwhile, Aphrodite and Gabrielle move Xena's body into a secluded cave to keep her safe.  But the thugs show up and threaten to take her.  Gabby manages to offend Aphrodite, who takes off yet again, and leaves Gabrielle to fight off the baddies all by herself.  She manages this with the aid of a whip-like rope and fire.  Then, once the goddess reappears, Gabby convinces her to use her powers to seal the cave.  Later, Daphne and her father are in the marketplace and Xena keeps appearing to her in buckets of water, encouraging her to talk to her dad.  Suddenly, a man's horse makes a run for it through the market.  Daphne pulls some signature Xena moves and saves the day.  This does not escape the notice of the thugs.  Her father, however, seems to have missed the whole thing.  Elsewhere, Gabrielle and Aphrodite fail to get into the club where Castor and Pollux are rumored to be inside.  Evidently, it's a theme party, and the bouncer won't let them in unless he "sees double."  We see Tharon give instructions to the thugs to kidnap Daphne.  Meanwhile, she and her father are finishing a silent meal.  Daphne begins to clear the table and is beginning to become annoyed with Xena's encouragements.  (Her father thinks she's talking to herself when she replies out loud.)  Finally, Daphne asks her father how her mother died.  But he replies harshly and doesn't even answer the question.  Daphne runs away and her father grows even more distressed at his own situation.  Back at the club, Gabby and Aphrodite show up as, I guess, Viking twin sisters.  They call themselves Bruna and Hilda in a very funny bit.  (I swear Renee O'Connor and Alexandra Tydings are both about to laugh as their horned helmets keep interlocking and moving all over the place!)  Anyway, they claim that they wrestle in oil and this gets them into the club.  Daphne is still running away and falls to the ground crying right in front of her mother's grave when the thugs show up and threaten her.  Xena tells Daphne to give her control and a fight ensues.  Daphne/Xena wins.  Meanwhile, at the club, our Viking twin sisters find Castor and Pollux.  The boys waste no time in using their own language to ask, "How about a night of crazy sex back at our place?"  Having no idea what was actually said, the girls decide to just nod in agreement.  The boys seem pleased with this!  Daphne is back in her room, elated from the fight and confessing (to her Xena-reflection) her hopes that she can stand up for herself like that someday.  The conversation ends with Xena telling Daphne that she and her dad are going to have to look after each other now.  Tharon is picking on the lead thug, in disapproval that they were beaten by a child.  "That leather clad bitch took half my face," he explains of Xena.  And, instead of going after Xena, they now plan to lure Xena to themselves.  Back at Daphne's house, Xena confesses that she never really knew her own dad, but she guesses she misses the idea of him.  She then explains how the glass is half-full: instead of being unlucky to have lost her mother, she suggests Daphne to be lucky to have her father.  "And he is very lucky to have you," she adds.  Meanwhile, still at the club, "Bruna" and "Hilda" wrestle Zeus' twins with the goal of getting Castor's oil.  Aphrodite is easily distracted during the match, however, and enjoys herself a little too much!  When the girls are finally announced winners, their costume falls apart and their true identity comes to the surface.  "Hey, you're not twins!" says one of the guys.  "We're not?!" gasps Aphrodite.  "You LIED to me!" she exclaims as she hits Gabby over the head!  Ha!  "What happened to your accents?" asks the other guy.  "...It comes and goes!" answers Gabby (with the accent).  Lol.  Then, when the referee asks what's going on, Gabrielle explains, "It's a shameless exploitation of the female form, that's what.  You should all be ashamed."  She steals the oil from Castor's belt, grabs Aphrodite's attention, and they both run for it.  Elsewhere, on some ocean shore, Daphne is fishing for dinner when she remembers that place.  Her father runs onto the scene, alarmed that Daphne is standing so close to the water.  "I fell in and mom dove in after me.  She drowned.  And it's my fault.  It's my fault she died!"  Daphne runs away yet again.  This time, her father chases her.  However, the thugs find him.  "So you're a fisherman?  Hope you don't mind if we use you as bait!"  They knock him out and carry him away.  Xena counsels Daphne in her mind when we hear Gabrielle's voice calling from nearby.  Gabby shows Xena a scroll she found at Daphne's house.  It's a ransom note....  Xena tells Aphrodite to bring her body to the castle....  Daphne's father is chained up and Tharon doesn't explain much more than the fact that he's after his daughter.  Outside the castle, Gabby walks up to the guard with Daphne saying, "My little girl is selling junior Amazon cookies."  They offer him a free sample and Xena puts the pinch on him until they get information on Daphne's father's whereabouts.  Xena unchains Daphne's father and then relinquishes control so she and her father can talk.  We learn that Daphne's father has been blaming himself for her mother's death, too.  "I don't blame you for mommy's death," she says.  And they make a kind of amends.  Gabby shows up and they try to make an escape.  But, before they leave the castle, Daphne is captured.  Gabby and Daphne's father fight the baddies.  Xena takes over Daphne's body, and is confronted by Tharon who reveals his ugly face.  They fight.  Xena wins when Tharon accidentally overthrows a swing and falls from the castle's heights.  Aphrodite appears with Xena's actual body and Castor's oil.  When the fight inside is over, lo and behold, Xena is there in the entrance alongside Daphne!  Her father thanks Xena for saving his daughter.  Back near the ocean, Xena and Daphne say their goodbyes.  Aphrodite vanishes from Gabrielle's side.  And Xena and Gabby say their hellos and walk off chatting.

BACK IN THE BOTTLE

Xena is concentrating, trying to achieve absolute stillness, while Gabrielle holds up a dead rabbit that she'd apparently rather cook the old-fashioned way.  Something goes wrong...again...and the rabbit is turned to stone.  Joxer shows up and is frustrated (and hungry!) that this has happened yet again.  They decide to go into town for food, so Joxer pulls out his bag of coins...only to realize it's leftover black powder that has yet to be destroyed.  Xena grabs it from him and has a vision of death.  "We've got to go back there."  We then see The Green Dragon summoned and his newly deceased sister appear to give her old servant, Khan, the formula for the black powder.  On their way back to Lao Ma's temple, the gang spy thousands of refugees.  Then they see K'ao Hsin and she tells them about Khan's new army...and powder.  The refugees are redirected into hiding.  They figure Pao Ssu has told the secret formula somehow from beyond the grave.  Back in the palace, Gabrielle meets Lin Qi and their argument over how to handle to refugees gets interrupted by a blast and an enemy intrusion.  A quick fight later and Lin Qi seems convinced that he should listen to Gabrielle.  Elsewhere, Khan's army is growing and getting branded with the symbol of the green dragon.  In the tunnels beneath the palace, where the refugees are going into hiding, K'ao Hsin tells Xena that the vision (which they shared) told of the future.  And, as that vision involved the death of Joxer, Gabrielle, and the newly befriended Lin Qi, Xena is not comforted by this news.  Xena confesses her doubt that, although she was able to channel the power to defeat one woman, she doesn't know what she'll be able to do against an army!  There is the sound of another blast and Xena heads above ground to find Joxer and some refugees standing still amongst what they now know to be black powder land-mines.  Xena takes the initiative and walks the land to meet them and show them a safe passageway with her footprints.  But a wind suddenly blows them away and Khan appears with some of his men.  The two-faced Ming Tien and his sister, Pao Ssu, appear to Xena as well.  They attempt to throw bombs at Xena, but she blocks them by channeling Lao Ma's power into a sort of force-field bubble shield.  But what can such power do against 100,000 men with the black powder??  She then throws her chakram and it clears a path on the ground for escape.  As they make a run for it, Gabby and Lin Qi run into battle.  It is then that Xena remembers her vision and calls them to run to safety, too.  Back inside, Xena sits with the book of wisdom and manages to shatter a vase.  K'ao Hsin shares with Xena that every time they use the power, they make Ming Tien and Pao Ssu stronger, too.  Later, Lin Qi shares with Gabrielle that they heard Xena travels with a storyteller of sorts.  Gabby says she used to but it's been a while....  But he argues that "someone who's willing to die for a cause greater than herself has a merciful heart -and that's where all great stories come from."  Later still, Xena suggests that she and Gabrielle go blow up the powder.  But, for the safety of Xena's baby, Gabrielle and Lin Qi take on the task.  But they get caught in a net and Khan sets fire to a trail of black powder leading straight to them.  Xena senses this from afar and summons the winds to deprive the flame of oxygen until it goes out.  They blow up the powder as they escape.  Back with Xena, the women argue over whether or not the power of love can win a war.  Joxer feeds the refugees, Gabby and Lin Qi talk some more, and Khan has taken hostages.  Xena walks into a field a little later to meet her enemies.  Ming Tien claims she is simply "facing her death like a true warrior."  They attack her, but she repels every bomb.  Joxer frees the captives and Lin Qi fights alongside Gabby.  After she seemed to grow weak, Xena focuses and causes everyone with the mark of the green dragon to turn to stone...and Ming Tien and Pao Ssu explode.  After the battle, Gabrielle finds Joxer grossly exaggerating his battle deeds, as usual.  She says her farewells to Lin Qi with a kiss on his cheek following his sweet words.  Xena tells K'ao Hsin that she doesn't feel Lao Ma's power anymore, but she had felt a compassion like she'd never felt before.  "I have seen love end a war."   

PURITY

Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and Argo are camping riverside when Xena wakes, sensing an intruder.  It turns out to be a monk from Chin...and somebody has cut out his tongue!  Nevertheless, he hands Xena a written message.  It's Lao Ma's words and it reads, "The hawk and the dove must be made one with the wisdom."  Xena figures that the 'wisdom' must mean Lao Ma's book.  The hawk and dove remain a mystery; a mystery which someone did not want Xena to solve.  Thus, the gang travel to Chin.  Upon entering the village, the inhabitants seem to have deserted it and there are signs of a fight.  Suddenly, as they look upon the monastery where the book is hidden, they see something crash into the building and explode.  The attack only gets worse and Xena and Gabrielle attempt to fight off the onslaught of warriors.  Enter Lao Ma's daughter!  She recognizes Xena and helps fight on her side until the baddies are gone.  Soon afterward, she explains that the weapon is called black powder and, as Xena puts it, it's more powerful than Greek fire.  She also reveals that an evil warlord named Go Kun has rediscovered the formula.  Xena feels their next move should be to retrieve Lao Ma's book of wisdom before the warlord does.  (It would only make him more dangerous.)  Finally, the gang enters a room and Xena opens a cabinet door to reveal where a book used to lay.  Someone has stolen it!  Gabby and Lao Ma's daughter leave the room to begin the new search while Xena holds up Joxer and hands him a book from a table nearby.  She tells him to sneak outside with it and put it in Argo's saddlebag without anyone else seeing.  (She'll explain later, she tells him.)  Xena later tells Joxer and Gabby to find out the ingredients of the black powder; it should be something from a cook's kitchen.  Meanwhile, Xena and Pao Ssu do some tracking.  On their hunt, Lao Ma's daughter asks Xena what brought about her devotion to her mother.  "Your mother helped me find a kind of peace that I'd never known before.  And when she died, it died with her."  But Pao Ssu felt rejected by her mother, in contrast.  And she asks Xena if she'd ever give up this child she carries.  "Not this child," she replies.  Anyway, their next move is to lose whoever is now following their trail.  In the marketplace, Joxer proves he knows his spices, Gabby proves she can haggle, and they both decide to dress like locals so that they can learn more.  Xena sends their horses in a direction that's different from their own path to mislead their trackers.  Joxer offers to trade a fine selection of exotic spices to a merchant if he'll tell him what's in the black powder.  But the merchant sounds the alarm that Joxer has this forbidden stuff and it lands Gabby and him in the Chinese prison.  Xena and Pao Ssu follow the rider's tracks into a cave where a young woman identical to Pao Ssu is reading a book and looks up.  "Hello sister," she says to Pao Ssu!  The sisters bicker and for a minute we don't know which one to trust.  But K'ao Hsin (the other sister) hands the book to Xena and that's when Xena finally reveals that she believes the army they fought wouldn't have retreated so quickly unless ordered.  "So it's you who has forged an alliance with Go Kun?" says K'ao Hsin.  Admitting her evil nature and demanding the book from Xena, Pao Ssu and Xena fight.  When Pao Ssu throws a ball of black powder at Xena's feet and steals the book, she has no idea until she's very far away that she's actually stolen the decoy.  Later, discussing the situation by campfire, Xena explains to K'ao Hsin, "We won't have to destroy Pao Ssu, she'll destroy herself."  Drip.  Drip.  Drip.  Joxer thinks the gutter above him and his shackles are leaking.  Gabby, dripping with sarcasm, is in no mood and tells him that this Chinese water-torture's whole point is to drive him crazy.  She then uses her foot to reach into his pantleg to retrieve the bit of black powder he still has on him.  This, of course, goes wrong at first.  But Gabby manages to blow the lock off of her shackles and they both go free.  Elsewhere, Xena and K'ao Hsin are just walking through a wooded area when she has flashbacks of the dogs pursuing her in her 'evil Xena' days.  It was where she first met Lao Ma and, looking troubled, Xena is brought to express what Lao Ma meant to her.  "There are people you meet who move in and out of your life like ghosts.  And after they're gone you find that they've left a part of themselves with you.  It's as if in some small way that their spirit helps define who you are and what you want to bring to the world....  Your mother taught me compassion.  It's a lesson that I want to pass onto this child."  Later, inside, Xena breathes in the scent of the old fabric and remembers yet again.  "It must've been beautiful," says K'ao Hsin.  "Yes," replies Xena.  "I was cornered here and your mother hid me in her bath underwater.  She gave me her breath to keep me alive," Xena recalls.  "She died in this palace didn't she?"  "That's right," says Xena bitterly.  They decide to study the book there, in the presence of her spirit.  Meanwhile, Joxer and Gabby are finding their way through the woods when they run across Pao Ssu, whom they still believe to be a friend!  They follow her only to be tied up and gagged and surrounded by black powder.  Xena runs outside to find this: Joxer tied up to her right and Gabby to her left, a line of black powder connecting them, and Pao Ssu in the middle with a torch.  Hoping for peace, K'ao Hsin hands Pao Ssu the book againt Xena's objections, but Pao Ssu drops the torch anyway.  Xena runs first to Gabrielle and stomps out the fire, then throws her chakram at Joxer's bonds.  Later, Joxer discovers the missing ingredient to the black powder.  Later still, Xena is in Chinese garb and walks in on K'ao Hsin crying from doubt and fear.  Xena encourages her that her compassion is a strength and not a weakness.  It is then that K'ao Hsin realizes that the hawk and the dove are the two of them.  If they focus together, they won't need the book.  In a vision, they both realize that Lao Ma gave up her daughters to protect them from their brother, Ming Tien.  Meanwhile, Pao Ssu is gaining power while Joxer and Gabby make weapons from the powder.  They create a diversion with explosives and drive out Pao Ssu's army.  But when Xena and K'ao Hsin find Pau Ssu alone in the camp, they find she doesn't need her army.  Nevertheless, they are ready to repel her powers.  Joxer and Gabby are found by the army, elsewhere, though.  And they must put up a fight of their own.  Pao Ssu seems almost ready to surrender as she is told about her mother's anguish in giving up her daughters.  But she resists and is killed by bombs.  Xena and K'ao Hsin walk out of the fire, themselves and the book intact.    

THEM BONES, THEM BONES

Gabrielle is fishing around with a sai for a certain type of mushroom that is supposed to help cure Xena's morning nausea.  Suddenly, Xena begins screaming in tremendous pain and Gabrielle rushes her to a healer.  We see Xena's nightmare in which a baby-sized skeleton pierces its way through her belly.  She wakes up obviously alarmed but Gabrielle and the healer are already by her side.  "When your friend brought you in, you were in considerable pain; I gave you a sedative," explains the healer.  She also prescribes bed rest as she can't find anything physically wrong with Xena or her child.  Amarice then runs into the room, having just gotten word.  Against the healer's advice, Xena abruptly sits up and starts gathering her belongings, mentioning something about a shamaness named Yakut (leader of the northern Amazons).  "That was no dream I had," explains Xena, "It was a premonition.  Something's trying to kill my baby."  So, Xena, Gabrielle, and Amarice take the long journey northward.  Once in the Amazon camp, Yakut greets Xena and claims to have seen a vision and, thus, was expecting her arrival.  "Come, we have much work to do," she tells the warrior princess.  With Xena lying down and Yakut's hand on Xena's belly, Yakut draws something on the dirt floor –– clearly making an unseen observation.  "Your child is being drained of its life-force in the spiritual realm," Yakut concludes.  After being told that the stalking entity bears the mark of the shamaness, Xena realizes that the villain here is, yet again, Alti!  (Alti can only attack through the spiritual realm at this point, however, since Xena killed her....)  Soon enough, Gabrielle convinces a weak Xena to let her go in Xena's place to fight Alti.  "I love your baby like it were my own," argues Gabrielle, "I will do anything I can to fight for its life and I deserve that chance as much as you do!"  With bow and arrow, animal and blood, dance and chant, Gabrielle performs the ritual of crossing over.  Xena hands Gabrielle a dagger and warns her not to let go of it on any account as it is their only chance of killing Alti in the spiritual realm.  "If we can destroy her there, we destroy her soul."  (Through all of this, Amarice stands around, skeptical and out-of-place.)  Finally, Gabrielle passes to the other side.  Dagger in hand, she explores strange and physically-impossible sights (motion frozen in time and space) when she spots Alti standing nearby.  "Xena's little bitch!  Welcome to the doghouse."  We learn that Alti wants the baby to be born!?  Meanwhile, back in the physical realm, Xena sits by Gabby's body and pleads for her to use the dagger.  She doesn't realize that Alti has managed to get the dagger up to Gabrielle's neck until she notices a cut forming on Gabrielle's skin.  "Alright, Gabrielle, that's enough.  Come back now!"  But as Alti counts down from ten, Gabrielle's body shuts down and, to Xena, she is as though dead until Xena breathes life back into her.  Later, Gabrielle is able to recall and relay to Xena, Yakut, and Amarice that Alti doesn't want to hurt the baby but wants it to be born.  "Alti wants to steal my baby's soul; she wants to replace it with her own," concludes Xena.  She then sends Gabrielle and Amarice to the temple of Chi'ah to get some amber that should trap Alti's soul if poured on her remains.  Xena and Yakut head for Alti's grave to retrieve her bones.  (Just before they leave, Yakut warns Gabby and Amarice that the temple is guarded by an Amazon mystic who can see the truth in your heart; it cannot be hidden from her.  At this, Amarice looks a little shifty).  At the gravesite, Xena finds that Alti's skull is missing...and that Yakut (who, come to think of it, has been acting a little shifty from time to time herself) is in posession of it.  She confesses that she'd tried to harness Alti's power for good, but unleashed her soul instead.  Xena, however, is too angry to acknowledge her shame.  At night, then, in what appears to be an attempt to make it up to Xena by trying to defeat Alti herself, Xena wakes up to a Yakut who has already performed the ritual of crossing over!  Seeing her struggle, Xena crosses over, too.  In short, on the other side, Alti steals the baby's soul and offers to give it back if Xena and the Amazons return her to the physical world.  "I'm sorry," Yakut says lamely.  "Let's get back to camp," is Xena's mere response.  Elsewhere, Amarice and Gabrielle find themselves facing Chi'ah herself, who reveals that Amarice hides behind a title she has not earned...the title of Amazon.  Ashamed, she leaves and Chi'ah allows Gabrielle to pass.  Once she's retrieved the amber, she tries to console Amarice.  "Well, you'd better get going, she's waiting for you," says a still disheartened Amarice.  "She's waiting for us," Gabrielle says truly –– which seems to cheer her up a bit.  With all four of them back at camp, the gang must devise a new plan.  (They can't use the amber yet; it would risk trapping the baby's soul as well.)  "She wants us to bring her back?  Why don't we do that," says Xena.  But they trick Alti into thinking Xena has agreed to take her back to the physical world...when, in truth, she has taken her into another dream world.  One where Alti has let her guard down.  They, as skeletons in that world, fight.  (And Xena is backed up by the mind-power of the entire tribe.)  Gabrielle, Yakut, and Amarice surround Xena awaiting a signal.  (Alti's remains lie nearby.)  They feel life return to Xena's belly and take that as the sign to pour the amber on Alti's bones.  With a whirlwind and an agonizing scream, Alti's remains ascend, destroyed.  Gabby runs to Xena's side and soon finds her alive and with child.  Later, before they depart, Gabby tells Amarice that she doesn't think what Chi'ah said is true...anymore.  A grateful Amarice decides to stay with the northern Amazons to "learn a few things."  Lastly, as Xena and Yakut say their goodbyes, Xena spots a dove on a tree branch, which we learned signifies Xena's acceptance of motherhood.  (She'd feared that bringing a child into a world of suffering wasn't the right thing to do.)  But it also signifies the child's response: Thank you.         

ANIMAL ATTRACTION

Donning warmer clothes in this lighthearted western, Joxer and Amarice walk along a snowy wooded path just ahead of Gabrielle and Xena (who is riding Argo).  We learn of Amarice's disdain for men after she catches Joxer sneaking another look towards Gabrielle.  Gabby notices and confides in Xena... who is asleep!  "I think I dozed off."  "You've been doing that a lot lately."  They figure she's just tired.  Startled by a sudden noise of a neighing horse in the distance, the crew takes off towards the sound.  They find a horse whose leg has been caught and wounded in a trap.  Gabrielle calmly talks to the horse while Xena frees its leg.  They all know they'll have to treat its wound before they set it free.  "Set it free?" asks Gabrielle, who seems to have other plans for the horse brewing in her mind....  Finally, the gang arrives in a town called Spamona which is famous for its hot springs.  After leading the new horse into a stall, Xena is warned that Spamona has a law against carrying weapons.  But who has the guts to take her weapons?  Enter a woman (wearing a cowgirl hat and spurs) who draws her sword.  They fight...but it turns out to be only in jest.  Talia is her name and she used to ride with Xena.  The two old friends catch up over a meal (Xena's appetite is off-the-wall strange).  A man who seems to be sheriff walks in and hands over a dagger (signifying the return of a villain named Darcon) and his resignation.  Talia doesn't want Xena fighting her fight.  Elsewhere, in the bathhouse, Amarice accidently almost drowns a man but saves his life shortly thereafter.  It turns out, this man is Arman!  Joxer enters the scene and they share a few words and shake hands.  But, as Amarice begins to leave, she slips and falls on the wet floor!  They two guys laugh and defend their laughter by saying that she wasn't hurt....  Of course, Amarice gets pissed off and she and Arman spend the next little while bad-mouthing each other in front of their respective friends.  Meanwhile, Xena hasn't been feeling too well, and Gabrielle convinces her to see a healer.  There, she gets the news... she's pregnant!  Xena then gets violent with this "quack" and leaves.  Joxer tries to help Gabby carry a sack of apples against her will.  Gabrielle tries to feed the new horse an apple to no success.  Arman gets advice from Gabby about how to get back on the right foot with Amarice.  Xena is showing motherly behavior.  And Gabby tries to win the horse's trust by wrapping up her own ankle, too.  Elsewhere, Talia and Xena are arguing about why Xena can't help get rid of this Darcon guy when Talia confides in Xena not only that Darcon is her own husband, but also that she too thinks Xena is pregnant.  "My mother was a midwife, Xena.  Wake up and smell the diapers."  At this, Xena finally seems to accept her "condition" and goes to the saloon for some, well, milk.  "I said MILK!  What, am I overage?" she yells at the bartender who had laughed at this request.  Needless to say, at her outraged expression, his face falls and he fetches her drink.  Lol. Amarice turns up and tries to ask for help from Xena about Araman... but Xena's thoughts are too consumed by her own new problem.  Arman turns up as Xena leaves and manages to offend Amarice yet again.  Nevertheless, in the fire of their argument, they share a passionate kiss!  In the middle of this, Joxer walks in and picks on Amarice.  This sparks another argument and they all split.  Back at the stable, Gabrielle is just about to give up trying to win over the new horse when he finally seems to take to her.  Talia rides out of town and Xena explains to Argo her situation.  "Gabrielle's gonna freak."  On her way to talk to Gabby, she runs into Arman again.  "Any fool can risk his life, it takes a hero to risk his heart," she advises him.  "Well, tell that to Amarice!"  "I've got a better idea."  He meets Amarice in the saloon yet again and calls her "phony" when she tries too hard to act "nice."  They split...again.  Finally, the entire gang find themselves in the horses' stalls, chaotically arguing about their own various problems.  Xena chooses this time to announce, "I'M PREGNANT!"  Clearly, this trumps everyone else's news, and so they get quiet real quick!  Confusion sets in but is followed immediately by congratulations.  Joxer then breaks the news that Darcon will be there by sundown!  Amarice and Arman make up...which includes a little more making out.  Darcon and Talia have a showdown while Xena, Gabby, Amarice, and Arman get rid of his gang.  One of the gang members goes to burn down the stall, when the new horse comes out and kicks him into the trough!  Talia finally manages to get her sword at Darcon's throat and says that the rest of their fight is up to a judge.  Xena nods.  Amarice and Arman say their goodbyes and Xena and Gabby ride out of town, Gabrielle on her new horse.

SUCCESSION

A woman by the name of Mavican is after Xena's "job" in Ares' eyes.  But, after one "action packed roll in the sack," he informs her that she's not the one.  No, his standards are higher – and Xena never asked him for anything.  "That's how I knew she was the one."  Elsewhere, after a fight where Xena did most of the work, Ares finds Gabrielle complaining to herself.  "I'm not a kid anymore."  But, after an understanding word or two, he vanishes as quickly as he appeared.  Enter Mavican.  "I understand that killing you is the best way to meet her."  Mavican then throws a javelin at Gabrielle, but Xena steps in.  Mavican declares that she's Xena's successor.  (She's trying to convince Ares of this by killing Xena.)  Ares complies by saying, "Let's take this where we can't do any harm."  He opens up a portal that sucks them in and the "game" begins.  Gabby finds herself in a spotlight in the middle of a vast darkness.  Xena, however, finds herself facing Mavican in a clearing – both without weapons.  Fight!  Mavican gets kicked  and takes a long tumble down a wooded hillside.  But, when the sun sets, Gabrielle and Xena have switched places.  (It turns out that, in the spotlight, Xema is able to watch Gabrielle but can't directly communicate.)  Gabby and Mavican cross paths at a campfire and Gabby gains the upper hand.  "Ares said that Xena couldn't kill you.  He didn't say anything about me, so don't do anything stupid."  Just then, Mavican gains control again, knocks Gabrielle out, and locks her in a cage.  She then jabbers on and on about herself... until the sun rises.  And, with the sun, comes the switching of Xena and Gabrielle again!  Yep, now Xena's in the cage!  This, of course, delights Mavican and she refuses to be talked out of her actions.  She starts throwing her handmade spears at Xena until Xena fakes getting pierced through the gut with one.  Mavican, thinking herself the victor, gets close enough to where Xena is able to grab her and kick herself loose from the cage.  Mavican escapes.  Xena goes poking around by a stream, clearly planning something, when Ares show up.  Xena learns that Ares would like Gabrielle to kill Mavican.  Later, Mavican tries to attack Xena – who has set up a trap and almost has her captured completely... when the sun sets again.  Gabrielle, now cluelessly facing Mavican, gets another quick beating.  Mavican explains that Ares has put Xena in the same body as Gabrielle... and if killing Gabby means Xena's death (even if it means only killing her indirectlly), than so be it.  Gabby grabs a staff she sees leaning against a tree and this triggers the trap that Xena set up.  Mavican gets knocked over but manages to injure Gabrielle's shoulder and Gabby runs away.  Suddenly, Ares appears to Xena once again.  Ares gushes compliments and ends by saying, "I can't believe I took her for granted for so long."  He then reveals that he has given up on Xena... "and what makes you think I was talking about Mavican?"  "This is about Gabrielle," says an angrier Xena.  Meanwhile, Gabby has found a deep pit in the back of a cave and taken refuge by a fire.  It is then that she finds a note tied to the staff.  In essence, it warns her not to kill Mavican.  But Ares shows up and tries to sweet talk Gabrielle into seeing things his way.  He even gives her one of her sais to kill Mavican with.  Soon enough, Mavican walks in and Gabby looks ready to fight.  All the while, Xena is pleading that she will not kill.  Fight!  "Ares wants me to kill you.  If I do that then he wins and we all lose," says Gabrielle finally.  Sun's up!  And it's Xena's turn.  "Your destiny is to be forgotten," she tells Mavican as they fight, Xena trapping them in the cave.  This notion eventually really gets to Mavican and she calls on the god of war for help.  Ares appears, opens the portal that leads back to the world, and allows only Xena to exit through it.  "I said you could [ask for help]," explains Ares, "I never said you should."  With that, he abandons Mavican.  Back on planet reality, Xena expresses that she is proud of Gabrielle, Ares expresses that his offer is still open, and Gabrielle thinks that maybe Ares did some good after all.

CHAKRAM

Ares tells Kal (a god a war in this particular region) to back off of Xena.  He also mentions something called the "dark chakram."  Apparently, Ares stole it years ago.  Later, Kal forces a monk (Brother Kalib) to take the light chakram from the white side of a stone yin-yang.  (There, we see the dark chakram is missing.)  Elsewhere, the newly resurrected Xena and Gabrielle are being taken care of with food, drink, and blankets, when Amarice returns Xena's broken chakram to Xena.  "What is this thing, anyway?" Xena asks.  When Gabrielle reacts with surprise, Xena simply shrugs her confusion off as post-resurrection haziness.  Later, in the market buying new outfits (including sais), the gang is attacked and Xena is almost defeated!?  ("Kal will have you!")  They soon inform Eli that something's wrong with Xena.  ("You usually pulverize guys like that.")  We learn that Brother Kalib is (or was) a scholar and a friend of Eli's.  Next, they all decide to seek Kalib out; Eli believes the answer might lie in his ancient texts.  On their way, Joxer asks Eli for advice about how to tell Gabrielle that he loves her.  Gabby has the "my path is not the same as yours" heart to heart with Eli.  While hunting, Amarice is knocked out in an ambush and Xena is taken away by Kal.  Gabby finds Amarice and they begin to track them down.  But, at Kal's place, the war gods fight, Xena remembers bits and pieces of her chakram, and then she escapes as the other two clash steel.  Xena meets the gang in the woods.  Soon enough, they discover that Kalib is dead, so Eli decides to look for clues in his scrolls.  "Go get some rest," he advises.  Joxer stumbles upon Xena in the bathhouse and asks her for advice.  (Have no expectations; no strings attached.)  Then, Ares appears and tries to take advantage of Xena's innocence... until Gabrielle walks in.  "Ares wants something.  So does Kal.  What is it?" asks Amarice.  "It's the same thing we need to get Xena back completely: chakram of light," answers Eli.  According to Eli's research, only the purest soul can touch it without being destroyed.  Also, it can kill a god!  (This explains why Ares and Kal are involved.)  Later, unsure if she's supposed to be as she was before, Xena prays for a sign – and Gabrielle shows up to encourage her that they're doing the right thing.  Next, the gang ambush the place where the stone yin-yang lies.  Xena grabs the chakram and runs out wielding it.  Although this startles Ares, she drops the weapon claiming that she can't kill.  With that, the gang quickly takes refuge inside the ambushed building.  In the hustle and bustle, Joxer corners Gabrielle and lets her know he's in love with her.  From outside, Ares tries to negotiate with Xena for the chakram.  It is then that they learn that the power to kill a god will be diffused if only they join the two chakrams together.  (This would make the weapon useless to Ares and Kal.)  Finally, the baddies break through the doors and fight while Xena places her broken chakram on the stone yin-yang and witnesses its repair.  Ares tries to grab Eli (to shove him aside) but, clearly feeling his power, backs up afraid and unsettled.  Then, Kal hovers over Gabrielle with his sword.  That's when Xena snaps into action and kills Kal with the newly forged chakram.  Again, Ares tries to talk Xena into handing over the weapon.  Instead, she combines the two into a whole newly designed yin-yang-like chakram!  And, with that, the WHOLE Xena is back!  Fight!  Why did she do it?  "No one deserves that kind of power," explains Xena.  Eli splits and the gang head back to Greece.